What’s in a Name?

It wasn’t until I was in high school that I really noticed I didn’t have a father.  That isn’t to say I thought I did before then, that I would come home thinking he was there somewhere hiding, or working, or away, ever constantly coming back home to me, but it was around that time when I was growing up, learning to drive, liking girls, and becoming a “man,” that the absence of who was supposed to be “the man” in my life became ever more readily apparent.  It may or may not be coincidence that simultaneously he was expressing interest in meeting me, for the first time since I was a baby.

Now, I’m not going to talk about that extensively–I’ve done so quite a few times already–but I have to set that part of me up for this post to make sense, and I want it to make sense, because as I’ve tried to explain my reasoning to family members and friends, I’ve encountered more confusion than I would have expected over the decision I chose to make, that decision being this:

I changed my last name. (more…)


Courting the Regretful Side of Love

I didn’t begin dating until I was 17 which wasn’t as much a conscious decision on my part as it was the universe’s imposition of obesity and awkwardness onto my adolescent life.  And although I waited until I was 17 to begin dating, there’s still a lot that I regret: I regret not speaking up more, about not being honest with how I was feeling.  I regret not ending certain relationships sooner when they had clearly passed expiration. But when I look back on the time I spent dating, I don’t regret the relationships, for the simple reason that they made the ones later better as a result.

That’s why what I’m about to make reference to doesn’t surprise me: The author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye, an abstinence/purity/dating manifesto aimed at Christian youth, is hinting toward the fact that his book may have done more harm than good.

Without context that may not make much sense so allow me to provide some. (more…)

In Regards to Our Hobbies, We Need Some Perspective

I don’t remember the first time I played a video game.  I remember laying on the floor with my brother in the afternoon, sitting at school on the playground with a GameBoy, cuddled up on sick days with a controller and a blanket, playing video games–but I don’t remember the first time. I only ever remember loving video games, loving playing them with my friends, loving to have those moments alone to soak them up only to share them later–and I’m thankful for those moments: thankful of the friends I’ve made because of them, of the parts they’ve played in cultivating the things that I’ve at different points wanted to be, and for the numerous impacts they’ve had upon my life that I can share with my kids one day.

I’m thankful for video games, I love video games, so what I’m about to say may seem contradictory or blasphemous, but in no way surprising: they aren’t that important.

No hobby is. (more…)

Space is Full of Therapeutic Monotony

No Man’s Sky is an odd game, odd because so often when we play games, we know what it is we are doing, what is expected we do–but No Man’s Sky offers no such luxury: no direction, no voice whispering, “do this, do that,” only the expectation that we, the explorer, the being lost in our own corner of space, will dare to venture out and discover. (more…)