It wasn’t until I was in high school that I really noticed I didn’t have a father. That isn’t to say I thought I did before then, that I would come home thinking he was there somewhere hiding, or working, or away, ever constantly coming back home to me, but it was around that time when I was growing up, learning to drive, liking girls, and becoming a “man,” that the absence of who was supposed to be “the man” in my life became ever more readily apparent. It may or may not be coincidence that simultaneously he was expressing interest in meeting me, for the first time since I was a baby.
Now, I’m not going to talk about that extensively–I’ve done so quite a few times already–but I have to set that part of me up for this post to make sense, and I want it to make sense, because as I’ve tried to explain my reasoning to family members and friends, I’ve encountered more confusion than I would have expected over the decision I chose to make, that decision being this:
I changed my last name. (more…)